He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
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