Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
