I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
