yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
