just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
