East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
