cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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