booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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