if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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