i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
