When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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