how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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