I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
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