I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
