Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Randomize
