You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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