What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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