This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
