the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
