ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
