ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
