Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
