just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Randomize
