one might say we're banned from that church
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
oh god was she eating orange peels again
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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