im drinking this country out of the recession.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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