doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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