Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
