She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
