he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
