But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
