Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
