I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
