i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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