ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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