If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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