I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
