Bisexual people are plain selfish.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
