It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
