Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
