I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
