I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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