i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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