my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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