got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
