Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
so much tequila, so little girl.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
