I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
