Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
