Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
