halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
