officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize