Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
