I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
