Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
