Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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