Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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