Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
