the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize