He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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