I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i think my cat just said my name.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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