drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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